happy bump life: a short list

By no means am I some kind of expert, but I am knocked up…annnnd I have a lot of free nights at home while everyone else galavants. So here’s some personal advice for the new mamas to be.

Have a Sense of Humour
With pregnancy come a lot of unfamiliar, uncomfy and slightly embarrassing side effects. Don’t try to beat it, laugh it off.. after all you’re growing a human being, it aint easy. So if you gotta snore like an old man while you’re doing it, so be it.


A Very Happy Hour
Granted you’re not drinking, but trust that internal clock. Eating dinner at 7pm and being back on your couch 2 hours later watching HBO is just as good as it sounds. You have carte blanche, so pull that preggo card whenever you please. Noone can argue it.

Slow Down
This one was toughie for me. Being used to the daily hustle and being a complete control freak at home, it can be tough to sit out the game. But this is the time where you can use and abuse all the help that’s being offered by friends and family guilt-free. Do you & your bump a favour and enjoy it.

Victoria Beckham pregnant photo tweet

Don’t Stress the LBS
Most ladies are already more than obsessed with body image and weight gain but you know what, let your body do its thang… after all it’s built for it. I’ve never owned a scale, and I definitely didn’t go running out to purchase one to monitor my pregnancy weight. That’s what OB appts are for.

Style Wars
I’m a firm believer in Karl Lagerfeld’s “sweatpants are a sign of defeat” mantra and although you may feel temped to throw in the towel, believe me you’ll feel much better about your changing body when you feel confident about the way you look. Don’t get me wrong, noones telling you to step out Victoria Beckham style, but there’s easy ways to stay chic, comfy and on budget with basics at spots like American Apparel, Zara and H&M. ALSO: Black is your best friend.


Stay Positive
I’ve been called a hippie before, and I know this is one of the attributes but seriously… it takes way more energy to bitch and complain and only leads to a dead end. CHILL the eff out. You’re not the first pregnant woman to grace the earth, and surely not the last.

Eating for Deux
Unless you’re Britney Spears, there’s really no reason you need to be eating a side of McCain cake with breakfast. The days of treating your body like a trashcan are certainly over, and I can tell you if you continue eating healthy portions & lotsa nutrients, you will both be happier.


Bed, Bath and Beyond
Making yourself feel beautiful inside and out is rewarding. Take the time out for an extra long bath, treat yourself to a mani pedi or book some prenatal reflexology. Even something as simple as a blowout (especially with your super-vitamin enriched preggo hair).  It’s amazing what a little TLC can do for your well being.


Don’t Get Overwhelmed
In case you haven’t already noticed, there’s a LOT of information out there. I’m certainly guilty of staying up in the wee hours of the night on my 7th youtube video that I probably don’t need to see. Take it day by day and with a grain of salt. And remember, opinions are like assholes – everybody’s got one.

Find Like-Minded Mommies
My biggest life saver was the fact that a few of my like-minded friends also got knocked up around the same time. Meaning we could all not-so-secretly bitch about not smoking J’s and admitting to serious social life fomo. Don’t have any cool mamas around? Rejoice in the internet. There’s people out there who speak your language. Here’s one: www.pregnantchicken.com


It’s ok to preggo-stalk hot mamas like Gisele Bundchen and Doutzen Kroes for some mom lifestyle direction, so long as you realize you’re not even CLOSE to being within their billion dollar universe. Use instagram wisely.


Stay Sexy My Friend
Trust me, I’m not telling you to try to slip into your best La Perla for hubby when you’re 8 months pregnant. We’re not all Miranda Kerr. The key here is CONFIDENCE, and you can still enjoy some sexy time if you can enjoy your body.


Pack Your Bags
This is the perfect time to get away… so long as you’re cool with vacations sans mojito’s for brunch, it’s the perfect moment to enjoy some down time with your mate and soak up the last moments of eternal silence and bliss. Bonus: You’re weightless in salt water.


Walk It Off
A little physical activity definitely won’t kill you, but take it easy on yourself – it’s ok to drop your personal trainer in favour of some light yoga. If you’re really feeling lazy, do some light stretches in the AM to keep you flexible for D-Day. Sidenote: Dancing like you’re in a music video totally counts as exercise.


Map It Out
This may be the Virgo in me (I do love list making… ) but trust me when I say a little pre-planning goes a long way. Have the convo about your living & work situation early on. 40 weeks aint as long as it seems and the last thing you wanna be doing is trying to cram a crib into your super cool studio apartment.

Contrary to what you may believe, your man hasn’t finished his mind reading classes. Explain what your feeling to him like you’re explaining it to a child. Otherwise, they feel useless and seriously do not know how to help when you’re shooting laser beams out of your eyes in their direction. Also, this is a great book for boys: Dude, You’re Gonna Be A Dad

Screen Shot 2014-02-28 at 3.15.50 PM

Your Social Media Quota
Don’t get me wrong, your bump is adorable and we all want to see it. But not by the hour. (also, lose the 16 hashtags, it won’t make you famous) And seriously, don’t live-tweet through your labour (yes people do this). I assure you, even your dearest friends and loyal followers will want to smack you upside the head. *This goes for new mommies too. Congrats, you made a cute kid. But mine’s cuter.



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